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February 19th, 2018
Tournament
Posted by:  Tournament@




THE TOURNAMENT IS COMING

It seems the last week has been even colder than the last, which does not bode well for our good friend R’lyeh or those of us who require warmth to survive! With chattering teeth, I turned on my tv and switched to the weather channel. Lo and behold, it will still be quite cold for the better part of the week, but then it will start warming up again by the weekend! R’lnah has not won!



It just goes to show that even when things seem to be at their darkest, there’s always a chance for the light to shine through.

Or whatever.

That’s enough about these fakey fake not real at all gods. They don’t deserve any more of our time.

With spring nearing, I find myself thinking about seregans. They won’t be coming to Acitius Kingdom for at least a few more months, sure, but since we escaped almost certain peril at the hands? Paws? Nubs??? of R’lnah the chance at warmer weather reminded me of the new year that looms ever closer. And how we’re still alive and stuff.

Then I remembered the Rose Festival is going on. It made me wonder who a better symbol (not counting the Fire Seregan, obviously) for the Firebird Festival would be. I narrowed it down to the Spring Seregan and Fated Seregan. Life itself and Love… itself!

I won’t lie, this is literally just me talking out loud while balancing a pen on my nose. But entertain me for a week and ask yourself, truly ask yourself… Does it even matter because the seregans are still only going to use the Fire Seregan?
Comments (1)



Lemon Lottery!
Posted by:  Acitius_Staff@




7 different users entered the Lemon Lottery this week, but there can only be one winner!

Out of 16 lemons traded in, @Livvy's lemon was chosen!

Congratulations on netting a whopping 150,000 AP!
Comments (0)


February 12th, 2018
Tournament
Posted by:  Tournament@




Are y’all prepeared for another tournament?

Last week’s tournament got PETF all riled up, much to our delight. Our fax machine (don’t ask why we still have one) has been going almost non-stop with complaints from around the Kingdom and even other kingdoms from folks who are very passionate about the wellbeing of fruit and want us to stop pitting the innocent edibles against each other for entertainment purposes.

Fortunately, someone stuck a paper shredder under the fax machine, so we don’t have to read their gibberish. While I’m happy our paper shredder is being fed, that’s a lot of wasted paper! I’d say I’m shocked at PETF’s wastefulness but truthfully, I am not. Those people need a new, eco-friendly hobby.

Junivi Fruit and Kangur Fruit decided the only way to settle their involuntary totally legit argument was to have a race. Foolish, foolish Junivi Fruit thought this would end just like The Junivi and the Shek, but they couldn’t have been more wrong! Kangurs are no strangers to racing, and apparently Kangur Fruits are no exception! Kangur Fruit left Junivi Fruit in the dust, thus winning the game, the argument, and the tournament.



Unfortunately it’s the trash for both of them, because they have been sitting out for a week and have gotten quite mushy.


With spring on the horizon in our fair kingdom, I haven’t actually been feeling any warmer or springy-er. In fact, it still feels like we’re still in the middle of winter! But without any present presenting holidays to look forward to in the near future. I casually mentioned this to an intern while at the ol’ watering hole and they said something most intriguing!

The red dragonlet R’lyeh must be struggling in the battle against the blue dragonlet R’lnah,”” they said.

What are you talking about?” I asked, incredulous.

It’s an ancient legend about two dragonlets - one made of fire, the red dragonlet R’lyeh, and one made of ice, the blue dragonlet R’lnah. They’re in a constant struggle over the dominion of the realm; they say when winter lasts longer than it feels it should, R’lnah is turning the tides against R’lyeh.” They said knowingly, as if that were something just anyone knows.

Well,” I replied with a roll of my eyes, knowing full well this sounds like some fake story based on Ekim and Engaj. “I hope R’lyeh gets their act together soon. I’m tired of it being so cold!” I then politely left. But after some time to think about it, I hope R’lnah isn’t defeating R’lyeh in their battle. I’d really hate it if that happened.

Not that I believe either of them is real and that the real gods would never do such a thing.

Right?
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Lemon Lottery!
Posted by:  Acitius_Staff@




11 different users entered the Lemon Lottery this week, but there can only be one winner!

Out of 13 lemons traded in, @Mandalay's lemon was chosen!

Congratulations on netting a whopping 150,000 AP!
Comments (0)


February 5th, 2018
Tournament
Posted by:  Tournament@




Testing… testing… Is this thing on?

After sudden cancellation and an ongoing lawsuit with People for the Ethical Treatment of Fruit, we’re back! Did you miss us?

People were left chomping at the pit (get it? anyone?) to find out the results of our last match, which left them hanging for quite some time not unlike every mid-season finale of Musical Thrones that I’ve ever watched. Does she win the throne or not?!

Anyway…

Rock beats Scissors, Scissors beats Paper, Paper beats Rock, but Paper most certainly does not beat Ink! Evidently no one told this to Enchanted Storybook, and it suffered heavy damages to its pages as Inkwell simply toppled right over on top of it. Its planned enchantments were all “completely ruined,” Enchanted Storybook’s lawyer would later say in a televised statement.

I had the privilege to see the carnage Inkwell did to Enchanted Storybook’s designs firsthand, and I must say… These two should really collaborate more often! But enough about that, Inkwell is the undisputed winner of this match, and it seems their prize pool will involve a lawsuit! Congratulations!



I must tell you, Acitians, it’s been too long since we’ve been on the air. So long, in fact, that these next challengers aren’t tongue-in-cheek at all.

I blindly grabbed two fruits from an edible display in the break room - Junivi Fruit and Kangur Fruit. I’ve decided they’re fighting because they are! It’s full on fruit-on-fruit war here! Take that, PETF, ya jerks!

Who do you think would win, Acitians? Is this Tournament too fruity or what?
Comments (0)



Lemon Lottery!
Posted by:  Acitius_Staff@




7 different users entered the Lemon Lottery this week, but there can only be one winner!

Out of 20 lemons traded in, @Livvy's lemon was chosen!

Congratulations on netting a whopping 150,000 AP!
Comments (0)