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Posted by:  Tournament@

Testing… testing… Is this thing on?

After sudden cancellation and an ongoing lawsuit with People for the Ethical Treatment of Fruit, we’re back! Did you miss us?

People were left chomping at the pit (get it? anyone?) to find out the results of our last match, which left them hanging for quite some time not unlike every mid-season finale of Musical Thrones that I’ve ever watched. Does she win the throne or not?!


Rock beats Scissors, Scissors beats Paper, Paper beats Rock, but Paper most certainly does not beat Ink! Evidently no one told this to Enchanted Storybook, and it suffered heavy damages to its pages as Inkwell simply toppled right over on top of it. Its planned enchantments were all “completely ruined,” Enchanted Storybook’s lawyer would later say in a televised statement.

I had the privilege to see the carnage Inkwell did to Enchanted Storybook’s designs firsthand, and I must say… These two should really collaborate more often! But enough about that, Inkwell is the undisputed winner of this match, and it seems their prize pool will involve a lawsuit! Congratulations!

I must tell you, Acitians, it’s been too long since we’ve been on the air. So long, in fact, that these next challengers aren’t tongue-in-cheek at all.

I blindly grabbed two fruits from an edible display in the break room - Junivi Fruit and Kangur Fruit. I’ve decided they’re fighting because they are! It’s full on fruit-on-fruit war here! Take that, PETF, ya jerks!

Who do you think would win, Acitians? Is this Tournament too fruity or what?

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