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Tournament
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Are y’all prepeared for another tournament?

Last week’s tournament got PETF all riled up, much to our delight. Our fax machine (don’t ask why we still have one) has been going almost non-stop with complaints from around the Kingdom and even other kingdoms from folks who are very passionate about the wellbeing of fruit and want us to stop pitting the innocent edibles against each other for entertainment purposes.

Fortunately, someone stuck a paper shredder under the fax machine, so we don’t have to read their gibberish. While I’m happy our paper shredder is being fed, that’s a lot of wasted paper! I’d say I’m shocked at PETF’s wastefulness but truthfully, I am not. Those people need a new, eco-friendly hobby.

Junivi Fruit and Kangur Fruit decided the only way to settle their involuntary totally legit argument was to have a race. Foolish, foolish Junivi Fruit thought this would end just like The Junivi and the Shek, but they couldn’t have been more wrong! Kangurs are no strangers to racing, and apparently Kangur Fruits are no exception! Kangur Fruit left Junivi Fruit in the dust, thus winning the game, the argument, and the tournament.



Unfortunately it’s the trash for both of them, because they have been sitting out for a week and have gotten quite mushy.


With spring on the horizon in our fair kingdom, I haven’t actually been feeling any warmer or springy-er. In fact, it still feels like we’re still in the middle of winter! But without any present presenting holidays to look forward to in the near future. I casually mentioned this to an intern while at the ol’ watering hole and they said something most intriguing!

The red dragonlet R’lyeh must be struggling in the battle against the blue dragonlet R’lnah,”” they said.

What are you talking about?” I asked, incredulous.

It’s an ancient legend about two dragonlets - one made of fire, the red dragonlet R’lyeh, and one made of ice, the blue dragonlet R’lnah. They’re in a constant struggle over the dominion of the realm; they say when winter lasts longer than it feels it should, R’lnah is turning the tides against R’lyeh.” They said knowingly, as if that were something just anyone knows.

Well,” I replied with a roll of my eyes, knowing full well this sounds like some fake story based on Ekim and Engaj. “I hope R’lyeh gets their act together soon. I’m tired of it being so cold!” I then politely left. But after some time to think about it, I hope R’lnah isn’t defeating R’lyeh in their battle. I’d really hate it if that happened.

Not that I believe either of them is real and that the real gods would never do such a thing.

Right?

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